The Missing Piece

"Oh, I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Hi-dee-ho, here I go
lookin' for my missin' piece"
- Silverstein

Letter to My Roommates

Disclaimer: To make sure this letter is not lost, or goes unread, I postee it on the door.

To Sissy and Crystal,

            You guys are a funny bunch. Your conversations often amuse me and make me wonder how these kinds of people can exist. You guys definitely opened my eyes to a completely new world that I have never expected to experience.

            Most of what you guys have to say are either badmouthing our hall mates, making mean jokes, or laughing at how ‘stupid’ your classmates are. I am astonished at how you guys can hate someone you do not even know to the point of giving them nicknames such as lesbian, gay, short-hair-girl, x- lover, will-break-the bed, etc just because they have short hair, are ‘fat’, look mean, or are loud. Though I do agree that sometimes they are pretty loud when we were trying to study, I would not go as far as bad mouthing them, because if you would just spend the time to get to know them, you would come to realize that they are nice people. By the way, your screams are extremely terrifying. I cannot recall how many times I jumped when one of you guys screamed at a picture of a celebrity or at what one of you said. Those kinds of screams will definitely scare away any potential guy you guys are interested in.

            Another thing, I understand we have different cultures, but when you put on excess perfume, it has an opposite effect than what you are expecting. I am not sure if it is to cover the body odor or to smell appealing to others, but it will help if you guys tone it down a little and not gag others. Also, try opening the windows and blinds to let some light in. It might help to open your hearts, even if it is a little, to spend some time in nature (do you not feel suffocated in an enclosed room 24/7?).

            Last but not least, I have a few objections to make, since the first night we met. First, I am not going to Oakland to find a lowlife (what you said) as a soul mate. Second, contrary to what you guys wished I’d get on my English quizzes, I did not fail any one of them. Instead, I did pretty well, and so did my friends. Third, maybe you guys should travel more and open your eyes. Then you would not think eating ramen with chopsticks is strange and snicker. Fourth, I am not at all bothered by the lights you guys kept on just to spite me while I am sleeping, nor is the loud chatter. In fact, I have to thank you two, since sometimes it helped me wake up for classes on time. (Oh, and yes, I can hear you guys whispering and laughing spitefully).

            Well, that is most of it. I do admire your study habits though, you guys are really dedicated to school. I wish the best for the both of you, and hope you guys can succeed in the future.

Your roommate,

Alice

p.s. Since I cannot say these to you guys personally, (626) 574 5150. Though I do not suggest you guys to call it if you mean nothing well.

This letter was posted on my door, where everyone in the hall has the chance to stop by and read it. Also, that’s not my phone number, but the my city’s police department (so don’t call it).

· 14/6/12 · 6 · Reblog
  1. wonderingpiece posted this